So, I wrote a mini book of Deadpool’s history in Deadpool’s voice.

Here’s a sample:

How did I become a superhero, you ask? It was easy—all I had to do was pick up an ancient Asgardian hammer while being bitten by a radioactive spider full of super-soldier serum. Et voila! I, Deadpool, was born! 

Other sources have suggested that my handsome visage and regeneration powers were the result of Project X—the same program that created my Ultimate Frisbee buddy Wolverine—headed by evil super-scientist Dr. Emrys Killebrew. (Note: Dear reader, never sign up for an experiment with the doctor with “kill” in his name.) 

I started as a villain in the pages of The New Mutants, but my charisma was undeniable, so I got my own anti-hero spotlight and ever-evolving backstory. I’m not kidding, keep reading. My real name is possibly Jack [last name redacted] or Wade Wilson, but you can call me the Merc with the Mouth.

It’s also been revealed that I’m Canadian.

And probably immortal.

Please note that all Canadians are immortal, therefore this is a redundant observation. 

With great power comes great irreverence!